Are you feeling subdued by a fear, or personality trait, that is preventing you from being the leader you’ve always dreamed of being? Leadership is all about the interpersonal relationships that you build with the people around you. If you struggle with a particular aspect of socializing with teammates or having confidence around coworkers, keep reading for helpful tips to combat those issues.
1. Shyness
Psychology Today defines shyness as the “apprehension some people feel when approaching, or being approached, by other people”. In a leadership role, this uneasiness can be stifling.
If you struggle with shyness, try to:
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Explore why you are shy. Make a list of the anxiety-inducing parts of social interactions, and address them head-on by creating a plan to counteract each fear.
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Be upfront; tell people you are shy! If your friends and coworkers know, they will be more than willing to help ease the awkwardness of introductions/group gatherings, until you feel more confident to initiate alone.
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Replace your imagined “worst case social scenarios” with positive thoughts. Visualize all the things that could go right instead of all the things that could go wrong.
2. Introversion
“Introverted” accurately describes the personalities of 24-50% of the global population. Where shy people feel anxiety about exchanges with new people, introverted individuals feel fatigue. Social interactions leave highly introverted people feeling the need to seek solidarity in order to mentally recharge.
Try to:
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Play up your gifts: Introverts naturally have numerous qualities that go hand-in-hand with leadership. Use your introspective nature, adept listening skills, and innate empathy to your advantage; these are unique leadership strengths.
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Create equilibrium with a schedule. Plan both social time and isolation time, then be consistent. Kindly communicate your needs to your team members and offer other ways to reach you (e.g. email) during your periods of recharging. Healthy boundaries create happy teams.
3. Fear of Public Speaking (Glossophobia)
Does the mere thought of speaking in front of a group send butterflies fluttering through your stomach? If so, you are amongst the many; glossophobia is the most common phobia of all. If you become flustered, tongue-tied, or foggy brained during group discussions or speeches, it can be difficult to eagerly seek a leadership role, where natural orators thrive. However, your fear is treatable.
Try to:
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Remember that MOST people have the same fear. Consequently, your audience likely won’t judge you – they will admire your bravery.
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If a speech impediment is the source of your self-consciousness, adult speech therapy is nothing to be ashamed of. Guaranteed, you’ll be glad you went.
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Attend Toastmasters!
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Ask your favorite orators how they developed their skills. You never know, they may have started out as glossophobia sufferers as well.
4. Under-Developed Communication Skills
The phrase, communication challenges, can umbrella many different issues: being stunted by a limited vocabulary, struggling with verbal conciseness, lacking detail in your explanations – the list could go on and on. If you have insecurities about how effective you are when communicating, it’s understandable why you would be hesitant to lead.
Try to:
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Develop better listening skills. Great listeners make the best communicators.
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Do the work! Pinpoint your areas of improvement and seek helpful literature to fix them.
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Ask trusted friends or mentors to be honest about where you can develop in your communication skills. Ask them what has caused communication breakdowns in their conversations with you.
5. Confrontation Avoidance
In most everyday situations, peacekeepers are the heroes of the bunch. Being non-confrontational is a positive quality, however, things get a bit tricky when broaching this topic from a leadership perspective. Great leaders maintain peace, not through trying to please everybody, but by being fair and having tough conversations with tact and diplomacy. As a leader, you must be able to provide constructive criticism, be willing to address problems head-on, and be skillful at working through conflict, rather than avoiding it.
Try to:
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Consider the greater good:
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Will withholding information or criticism be better for the recipient in the long run?
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Will the team or company benefit from your choice?
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If roles were reversed, would you appreciate the same type of treatment that you’re providing?
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Use best practices from marriage counseling:
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Use ‘I statements’
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Depersonalize: Corrections and criticisms should be focused on the issue, not the offender
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Place emphasis on the team: Let your mentee know that he or she is a part of a team, and the problem can be solved through teamwork
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There is no challenge too big to defeat and no trait too powerful to overcome. It’s ok to be yourself and own who you are. Remember that you can be a leader, even if you don’t fit into the traditional mold. Be honest about your strengths and weaknesses and seek solutions that benefit both you and your team. With a little effort, a fresh perspective, and a healthy dose of patience, you’ll be well on your way to being a respected leader in no time.
